Why You Keep Making Trash Decisions (and How to Finally Make Smart Ones)

You’ve decided to be a loser. Why? It’s simple: your decision-making skills are trash. Instead of being offended, let’s dig deeper.

Why are you living a life that is incongruent (misaligned, if you will) with your wildest dreams? Maybe your dreams are a bit too wild and lack a sense of reality. So, to amend my first question, instead of chasing your wildest dreams, why haven’t some of your New Year’s resolutions been resolved yet?

It’s October. We’re already ten months past the start of 2025. What’s the excuse?

Let’s explore this from a psychological, neurological, and behavioral science perspective. But first, take a quick self-reflection on the last few decisions you’ve made that have altered the trajectory of your life away from your goals.

Done? Okay, let’s move on.

Cognitive Biases and Short-Term Urges
When you factor in the soup of life (your environment, emotions, background, familial roles, and everything in between), it’s no wonder we all have loose screws and Swiss cheese–sized holes in our information processing.

Temporal discounting: You devalue future rewards in favor of immediate gratification. You do this automatically, maybe because you resonate with the old saying, “the future isn’t guaranteed,” or in modern terms, #YOLO.

Status quo bias: You prefer to maintain your current life instead of changing it. You can speak a thousand affirmations and pray ten times a day, but if you’re scared of the change you’re praying for and affirming to manifest, you’ll sabotage yourself, consciously or not. The default bias makes you feel safe, and with safety comes a sense of control. That need for control keeps you locked right where you are.

Over-optimism: You set high goals without considering reality. You overestimate your output and willpower and fail to account for obstacles.

Combining these three biases with present bias results in cognitive distortions that widen the action gap. This loosely explains why you’ve been making trash decisions.

Behavioral Science Perspective
Ego depletion: The strength model of self-control assumes that willpower is a limited resource that depletes over time. You might start the day with strong willpower, but as the day progresses, your ability to choose what’s best weakens.

Learned helplessness vs. self-efficacy: Repeated failures teach you that your effort doesn’t matter. You start to believe that any attempt will fail. When you set goals, you may sabotage them through inaction or by giving up at the first sign of adversity. In contrast, high self-efficacy strengthens persistence even when the evidence suggests you should quit.

Fear-based vs. curiosity-driven motivation: Fear stops decision-making in its tracks to avoid perceived consequences. Fear and anxiety prime a loss-avoidant mindset, convincing you to give up on pursuing your dream for fear of rejection. A curious decision-maker, like the protagonist in The Celestine Prophecy (a book I’m reading again), goes on the adventure of a lifetime with little idea of what he’s searching for. An opportunity arises, and he follows it all the way to Peru. That decision creates new solutions by tapping into goals and reward systems instead of priming the amygdala (uh-MIG-duh-luh, the part of your brain that processes emotions) for fear. Fear and anxiety activate one part of the brain, while curiosity activates another, and both reveal their truth.

Intention–action gap: You can plan the next 24 hours perfectly with clarity and conscious intention, but if you sit on your ass and take no action, that’s the intention–action gap. For example, maybe you want to eat better, but then you walk into a buffet full of your favorite foods even though you meal-prepped and promised yourself you’d stick to your plan. You weren’t able to self-regulate enough to override your default behavior. You had no executive control over your craving, your memories, or the FOMO that pulled you into yet another trash decision.

The reason I like to define the science behind why you are the way you are is so you can begin to reflect internally. It’s easy to point out flaws, but explaining the why allows you to address them and go deeper in your reflection.

You have to be self-aware.

I know this from my own experience. I became aware of my health and stopped lying to myself. Two things can be true: you can be big and beautiful but also unhealthy, or you can be healthy. In my case, I was unhealthy.

I could have hidden behind body positivity and complained about society not accepting bigger bodies. Or I could stop eating like a linebacker.

Sugarcoating the truth showed up in my bloodwork, and I was displeased with the results.

So I stopped making decisions that were literally trashing my body, my vessel.

Choosing short-term comfort over long-term goals isn’t some new-age issue we can blame on social media. It’s a multilayered phenomenon that, once understood, explains why you make poor decisions and how to start making better ones.

Your dream life depends on your decisions. Tracking your habits reflects those decisions every single day.

I’ve been making deposits into my goals for ten months, all gas no breaks. I’ve tested, doubled down on what worked, and pivoted away from what didn’t. I’ve used my habit tracker, and it works. I’ve released 45 pounds naturally this year, and I’m carrying this same mindset into my next goals.

I dug deep and reflected on where I am and why. It all pointed back to me and my mindset. I was thirsty to know the why behind my choices. I dug myself out of darkness through sheer willpower and curious, intrinsic motivation. And now I’m here sharing what I’ve lived, what I’ve learned, and what I’m still studying to help you.

If you’re just starting out and looking for a way up, grab my 100 Days, One You mini-guide and habit tracker.

How to Use the 100 Days, One You Habit Tracker
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about consistency. Choose up to three habits that move you closer to who you say you want to be. Every day you show up, you’re training yourself to make better decisions. Each small choice to follow through strengthens the muscle that keeps promises to yourself. Track your progress honestly, even on the hard days, because the goal isn’t to never miss. The goal is to never quit.

Feel free to reply and share how you’re going to make better decisions to live a life you love.

Peace out, Peace in.

– Spivey J.