What the Privileged and the Haunted Have in Common (Hint: It’s Not Luck)
There are people who survived monsters in their own homes and still built extraordinary lives. And there are people who were spoon fed every advantage, yet destroyed themselves.
Your past alone does not decide your future.
But here’s the truth, your past is living in your body right now. It’s tucked into your shoulders, sitting heavy in your chest, shaping the way you breathe. You may not talk about it, but it’s there.
Clearing the past is essential to your ascension; transformation is how you carve a new path forward.
Transformation is a noble act. Think about how water can become a solid or gas. That transformation is locked in by the conditions it allowed itself to undergo. The same is true for us. Our own states of being reflect how our present is shaped by the conditions of our past and the desires we hold for our future.
The future hasn’t happened yet, so you’re unable to clear or change it.
Your past, however, has already happened and it has left an imprint on your present self. You can ignore it, but it will still hinder your transformation. So today we’re going to address all the elephants in the room without blame, just acknowledgment, and most importantly, an invigorating will to release what was.
Today we’re unbecoming.
According to recent counts, there are 8 billion people living on this earth right now.
8 B-I-L-L-I-ON PEOPLE.
Each and every adult carries a past.
When we talk about it, we usually shrink it down to “good” or “bad.” But in truth, it’s neutral. We’ve all seen examples where a harsh upbringing led to a powerful and uplifting adult life. And we’ve seen stories where a silver-spoon childhood ended in tragedy, like a young adult who overdosed and never found their footing.
99.99% of us fall somewhere in between….and that’s the point. Someone will always have it better or worse, but what matters is what we do with it.
We didn’t choose our adults, our surroundings, our religion, or our early way of thinking. But we most definitely get to choose who we become after. There are no excuses. Every excuse should be transmuted to fuel.
Your feelings are valid, your story matters, but here’s the truth, you matter more than your pain. You can no longer allow the replaying of horrid childhood moments to have such a strong grip on who you are today.
Your past alone does not decide your future.
And yet, look at the adults around the world. Some have lived with actual monsters in their homes and still made something of their lives. Others were valedictorians, well-educated, given every advantage, yet lost their way in college, tried crack cocaine, and were disowned by wealthy families, now living on the streets.
The point is clear: hardship or privilege alone does not determine the path you walk. What matters is what you do with your past, starting today.
So, how do you clear the past?
I’m currently rereading The Celestine Prophecy Adventure by James Redfield, and Chapter 6, “Clearing the Past,” stood out to me and inspired today’s newsletter:
“Each person must reinterpret his family experience from an evolutionary point of view, from a spiritual point of view, and discover who he really is. Once we do that, our control drama falls away and our real lives take off.”
When I first read this, I knew exactly what it was pointing to: the stories we carry from our past. The ones we don’t always realize are shaping our present.
Clearing the past isn’t about erasing memories or pretending things didn’t happen. It’s about facing them with new eyes and letting go of the grip they still have. Here’s how I’ve been walking through it, step by step:
1. Remove the rose-colored glasses
See your story as it really was, not how nostalgia painted it. Sometimes we need to admit that what looked close and loving was also harmful.
2. Reinterpret from adulthood
Look back with the perspective you have now. Your child self felt powerless. Your adult self can see the fuller truth.
3. Release through the body
These stories don’t just live in your mind, they live in your body. Cry if you need to. Walk, run, dance, exercise. Let the memories move through you.
4. Shift into the spiritual lens
Not the religious lens you inherited, but the wisdom of your own heart. Ask: What strength, compassion, or awareness did this awaken in me?
5. Reclaim who you really are
Your identity isn’t limited to your family’s story. You get to live beyond it, even if that means choosing differently, being misunderstood, or walking your own path.
6. Spot your control dramas
Notice when you’re replaying the past: people-pleasing, withdrawing, blaming, competing. Ask yourself: Is this me, or just an old script?
7. Write to heal
Write a letter to the ones who hurt or helped you. Say what needs to be said. You can send it, burn it, keep it, or release it. But always end with forgiveness for yourself.
Clearing the past isn’t a one-time act, it’s a practice. Try just one step this week and notice how much lighter you feel.
Clear the past so you can allow your transformation to take place. Think of it like setting the stage. What good is a transformation if so much of you is still anchored in the past?
Side note: Monday is September 1st, and on social media, specifically TikTok, users have started a challenge called The Great Lock In.
I decided I want to participate. It aligns perfectly with my habit and skill-stacking journey.
I think this is the perfect time to clear your past and start anew on Monday. If you lock in for the next four months, your transformation of becoming and unbecoming will set you up beautifully to enter 2026.
With that said, you can utilize my 100 Days, One You Habit Tracker available here.
I send healing and uplifting energy to you as you clear your past in preparation for your whole life transformation.
Peace Out, Peace In.
-Spivey J.