Thinking It, Spilling It: Catch It Before It Escapes

Sometimes the thoughts we think are the ones we spill out and the ones we don’t even want to have. Today, I’m noticing mine, and learning to just watch them instead.

As I write this newsletter, I’m sitting in the food court of the Atlanta Chinese Mall here in Chamblee. Surrounded by families, I’m enjoying an authentic Chinese meal (today is my refuel day). As I look around, I notice the diversity: I hear Spanish, Mandarin, Cantonese, English, and baby talk.

I briefly thought about what I’d do if ICE agents stormed in and held us all hostage. I shook that thought off because it wasn’t actually happening. If I were to allow a thought like that to control me, I’d be disempowering myself while giving energy to the very thing I do not want.

Pondering on what you do not want, by simply thinking about it, is what I call manifestation by misfocus.

I think it’s easy to live in a victim mentality:

• You assume the worst.
• You blame everyone.
• You replay the same misfortunate thoughts, feeding them every time they get airtime.
• You spread that self-pity every time you share it with someone else.
• You reject anything that tries to reframe this identity.
• You make excuses you’ve validated in your own mind because “it’s your experience, and no one can take it.”
• You basically never change because that’s just how you are, and everyone else must accept it.

Now, don’t get me wrong; ICE has in fact destroyed many families. Politics aside, that’s just basic human decency. But I’m not talking about that per se. I’m talking about being able to deny the manifestation of a thought through simple observation.

I allowed that thought to live long enough until my observer arrived. My observer is my hitter, the one that sees everything before my conscious self becomes aware.

My observer gets sharper every day. Once I learned that I am not my thoughts, I began changing my identity. One of my favorite books that I reread every few years, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, is where I first learned this life-changing wisdom.

This is what Tolle says about observing the thinker:

“The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated. You then realize that you are not the voice; you are the one who is aware of it.”

If you enjoy being a victim and don’t know who you would be if you laid that story down, stop reading now.

But if you’re ready to change your life, follow these steps. The next time you have unwanted, fear-based thoughts, you’ll be able to regain control and come back to the present moment.

Watching the Thinker

Step 1: Notice the thought.
He says to begin by listening to the voice in your head as if it’s someone else speaking. Don’t judge, don’t try to stop it, just notice.

Step 2: Separate yourself from it.
The act of noticing creates a gap. You realize: I am the one who is aware of the thought; therefore, I am not the thought.

Step 3: Rest in awareness.
That silent witnessing is what he calls Presence. It’s the dimension of you that’s always there, beyond the stories, fears, or desires.

Step 4: The shift in power.
Once you practice this, thoughts, including the ones that romanticize what you don’t want, lose their grip. They stop running you because you’ve stopped identifying with them.

Empowering the observer disempowers the ego.
It allows you to hold yourself accountable.
It allows you to give yourself grace because you realize you are not your thoughts.

The moment I catch myself giving airtime to thoughts I don’t even want, I’ve already stepped into awareness.

That’s the shift, from being lost in thought to actually watching the thinker. And once you can see the pattern, you can change it.

That’s what my 100 Days, One You framework is all about: practicing awareness in real time, building data on yourself, and stacking change one conscious day at a time.

If you can watch a single thought without identifying with it, you’ve already shifted the trajectory of your day. Imagine stacking that shift for 100 days straight. That’s the invitation of 100 Days, One You. <— click here to get your 100 Days, One You Mini Guide and Habit Tracker.