Shutting Down to Open Up

We are no longer going to war with our negative internal thoughts.

Think of this week’s newsletter as your waving white flag of surrender. It’s the moment you stop fighting yourself.

Not a sign of quitting, more of a peace treaty.

You’ve waged war with your negative thoughts since you began your personal development journey. You’ve made some progress but that in and of itself becomes a new kind of self-aware obstacle.

It compels you to think more intensely about how you feel about your thoughts when really, you should be doing one thing and one thing only.

Observing.

“If it is the quality of your consciousness at this moment that determines the future, then what is it that determines the quality of your consciousness? Your degree of presence. So, the only place where true change can occur and where the past can be dissolved is Now.” Written by Eckhart Tolle in The Power Of Now.

He goes on to say,

“All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry- all forms of fear- are caused by too much future, and not enough presence.”

While outlining this piece, I had an ‘AHA’ moment, I realized I had learned this years ago when reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I ran to my bookshelf. I’ll admit that back then I was not the best keeper of my books. I read them anywhere and everywhere. And though the copy was a little beaten up, I opened it to a page where I tucked a business card. It was literally bookmarked on the exact page with the quote I’d just referenced.

My mind was blown, I mean how did past me know to mark that page, even though I read the whole book? I stopped obsessing, gave her-her props, and simply said thank you in that present moment.

I shared this story because too often, we obsess over what could’ve been or what might happen if it all fails, without giving much thought to what it is.

The war you’re waging on your negative thoughts is a battle that’ll never end.

Unless you start observing.

Observe your thoughts, observe your feelings, observe the change in your physiology when something feels either triggering or delightful.

This allows you to be present.

But what about when negative thoughts flood your mind?

Maybe it’s a memory of a hard season. Or maybe it’s the dread that creeps in every Monday morning because you’re heading to a job that doesn’t align with the intersection of your passion and skill stack?

You still observe.

That’s why this part of the scientific method is critical; you cannot proceed with an experiment without observation. A hypothesis can’t even be informed without acquiring knowledge via observation.

You observe without judgment.

When you observe your thoughts without judgment, you enter the present moment and become more conscious.

Tolle explains how the act of observing creates the presence: “When you listen to a thought, you are aware not only of the thought but also of yourself as the witness of the thought.”

This witnessing creates a shift in identity. It takes you from being lost in thought to being the awareness behind it. That awareness is Presence.

Let’s dive into what the ego is; the ego plays a huge role, and you must catch her on site or she will sabotage everything you’re working toward.

The ego is your false self. Often there to protect you but because times have changed you don’t need all the armor the ego comes in.

The ego is who started the internal war on your negative thoughts in the first place.

Like the radio edit of the infamous Lil Jon and The East Side Boyz says: ‘Don’t start no stuff won’t be no stuff.’

That’s the energy you must show up with. Check your ego- the false self that loves to start stuff- and tap into a world of peace.

Also, note: the ego doesn’t like to be observed, but again the ego is the false self that feeds on unconscious thinking, especially thoughts tied to past and future narratives.

When you observe your mind, the ego feels threatened because the ego cannot survive in the present moment. So, when you become the observer, the ego begins to dissolve.

When the ego dissolves, and you’re watching instead of engaging, now that’s the sweet spot. That awareness, separated from thinking, allows you to simply witness your thoughts arise and fall… like clouds passing in the sky.

Over time, this creates the peace you’re longing for; suffering is reduced connecting you with the deeper truth of who you are.

Keep reading for practical tips.

7 Ways for you to Observe the Thinker Without Judgment in your Real Life

Tip 1: Use Mental Labels
When a thought arises, label it and file it away, like when you’re watching a movie and trying to guess the plot.

· “Ah, that’s worry.”

· “That never happened.”

· “That’s judgement.”

· “That’s a replay.”

Tip 2: Pause before reacting
It’s labeled, but you feel triggered, upset, or caught in a loop. Ask yourself: What is my mind doing right now? Just notice what’s happening. Do not try to fix or suppress the thought.

Tip 3: Micro-Meditations
A simple prayer. A moment of stillness. A 10-second breath reset moment. You don’t need 30-minutes on a mat, you need to be able to do this in the wild, not just during pre-allocated mediation time.

Tip 4: Turn the Triggers into Teachers
Personal confession- I have a bit of road rage. Not the kind where I’d get out of my car or endanger anyone’s life, but let’s just say I definitely say some choice words. So much so that my 6-year-old called me out telling me that I seem angry at everyone when I’m driving. There’s no better chin check than an innocent child calling you out.

So now, I want to be more mindful of how I react when others don’t drive the way I think they should because it’s clearly a trigger and I have no idea why.

A simple- Look at me, getting annoyed at how someone else is driving is all I need to say or think.

This isn’t about denying the feeling, it’s just me watching from a higher place.

Tip 5: Mind-Watching Journals
End your day by reflecting

· What thoughts repeated?

· What did I believe automatically?

· Did I react or observe?

This kind of reflection helps you be more conscious tomorrow.

Tip 6: Use objects as anchors
Choose one item, it can be a ring, a bracelet, even a sticky note on your desk. Every time you see it or feel it, it’s your cue to observe and not engage.

Tip 7: Let go of needing to fix the thought
There are no bad thoughts, the mind is just doing what it does. Say that out loud if you need to. Then, redirect your attention to your breath, your feet, or whatever you’re doing in the present moment.

My hope is that this knowledge, paired with these practical tips in your toolkit helps you shut down the war on your negative thoughts and opens you up to a more peaceful suffer-free life.

I created a 100-day Mini-Guide and Habit Tracker that’s the perfect companion for your self-development journey. Click the image below to grab yours today.

Peace Out, Peace In.

-Spivey J.