Rewiring Reward: Craving Discipline
Motivation is unreliable.
Reward wiring is what makes discipline feel good.
I know I have the potential to be a sanctified baddie
(wtf does that even mean Spivey?? lol)
but just go with me.
I know I have the potential to be Fit, Fine, and (en)Rich(ed)… but gah damn girl can you stop looking at exercise as punishment and food as a reward?? Geezzz.
That was the internal dialogue between me, myself, and I about 18 months ago.
I was shot, you hear me.
My willpower to choose better did not exist.
I settled on the idea that since I was down bad, I deserved to eat a dozen donuts (not really but we all know even 2 Krispy Kreme donuts will spike your glucose to heaven and back twice over).
Then something shifted.
At the end of 2024, during my year-end self-assessment, I zoomed all the way out and realized this same reward-based thinking could work for keystone habits instead of Krispy Krack Kreme.
Keystone habits
Habits that create cascading positive effects.
To make discipline feel good again, I had to shift from force to reward-based consistency.
Because here’s what I kept doing wrong:
>I tried to force consistency with habits I secretly believed were hard.
>I tried to change my entire health trajectory in one sweep.
>I attempted my own 100-day challenge four different times while committing to way too many things: walking 10,000 steps, eating plant-based, strength training 4–5 days a week, drinking more water, adding herbal tea, and doing everything except scheduling liposuction.
No wonder I failed.
Instead of habit stacking like I teach inside 100 Days, One You, I tried to force consistency with a mountain of new habits all at once.
The fifth attempt was different.
Discipline started to feel good when I simplified it to one keystone habit.
And the fifth try?
I actually succeeded.
One shift can change everything.
The truth is, I identified the habit with the highest ROI.
For me, that was walking at least 10,000 steps every day for 100 days and tracking it everywhere- my smartwatch, a physical poster board, and a Google spreadsheet.
I walked 1,118,792 steps in 100 days.
That felt good.
Keeping that promise to myself every single day felt even better.
That feeling is called self-efficacy
Self-efficacy is the belief in your ability to succeed at a task.
It is built by evidence from repeated small wins.
It is confidence with receipts.
You win the small wins with every step, not when it’s all said and done.
Sure, you can try a 21-day challenge…
but if you want the habit to stick long-term and imprint itself into your identity, I suggest 100 days total, broken into 10-day blocks like I teach inside 100 Days, One You.
Writing those wins on sticky notes and seeing the growing wall of evidence, not realizing that my children and husband were watching too, was invigorating.
It showed my brain the evidence and surrounded me with support.
A winner in every reality.
Whatever you reward, you repeat.
Think about how someone can go to a job they hate for 35 years.
Why?
Because they receive rewards:
*a paycheck
*a sense of stability
*insurance
*PTO they have to ask for
These rewards override the underlying truth:
They are being drained, limited, and trained away from their potential, they don't have the time or mental capacity to pursue their curiosities. If this is you, would you want your life to end with you being known as a handworker for someone else's assignment or an explorer who lived life to their highest potential while alive?
That’s operant conditioning.
Behavior shaped through reward or punishment.
Pleasure trains faster than pressure.
Science Square: Rewire Reward
Hypothesis: I thought discipline was supposed to hurt.
Observation: I quit when irritation, stress, or emotional fatigue hit.
Data Point: Dopamine fires when the brain anticipates pleasure, not punishment.
Insight: If the habit feels good, it becomes automatic.
Application: Make the win small enough to reward instantly.
Your brain needs quick wins, not big ones.
Discipline isn’t something only multi-millionaires, bodybuilders, and world leaders possess.
It is not innate.
It is a skill.
It is accessible.
It is free.
And it is TEACHABLE.
You do not need more motivation.
You need a reward system that prioritizes keystone habits.
This is how you train your brain to crave discipline:
1. Choose a keystone habit.
2. Reward every micro win.
3. Build self-efficacy from evidence, not emotions.
4. Stand on the confidence of your receipts.
5. Use those receipts to win at the next thing.
So tell me…
What’s the one habit you’re starting today?
I talked about choosing low-hanging fruit to build self-trust in this newsletter — click here to read it.
Right now, my focus is improving my longevity through metabolic intelligence.
Not supplements first.
Not shortcuts.
Not overwhelm.
I started with blood work and decided to address the basics using nature before layering supplementation.
That means:
more sunlight
better sleep
fiber
protein
hydration
daily movement
herbs
plants
whole foods
actual self-awareness
Then I fill the gaps with supplementation after seeing what God + nature + discipline can do.
Reflection Questions
Where in your life are you punishing yourself instead of rewarding progress?
What small win can you celebrate today so your brain learns to crave consistency?
Next Saturday I will share why becoming her feels exhausting and what identity fatigue really means.
Until then, Peace Out, Peace In.
– Spivey J.