Don’t Renege on Yourself

You wouldn’t choose a Spades partner thats known to renege.

Spades is a rite of passage. It’s the culturally interwoven card game that has lived through three or more generations. If you’re not familiar, let me explain.

It’s a four-player game with two teams. All cards are dealt except the jokers and the 2 of hearts and 2 of clubs. Each team makes a pre-game bet on the number of “books” they think they can win with their hand, with Spades being the triumphant suit.

Each player takes turns playing, and the first player’s card sets the suit for that round. If you don’t have that suit, you can play a Spade and beat everyone.

However, if you play a Spade just to win, and it turns out you actually did have the suit all along, you’ve reneged. That’s basically a crime against humanity in Spades. Because when a team is caught reneging, they have to forfeit all the books they’ve won to the other team, and they usually lose the round along with their teammate’s trust.

You’re probably wondering why I’m explaining a card game. Stay with me.

If you know Spades, you innerstand the importance of choosing the right teammate. They can make or break your winning streak, your integrity, and your reputation. In many families, not being a good player can cancel out your invite to the next cookout. And we won’t even talk about the level of shame that comes with not knowing how to play at all.

I digress.

I’m certain you wouldn’t consider, especially with your reputation, pride, or sometimes even money on the line, choosing a partner that’s inconsistent, careless, or unmotivated.

You also wouldn’t sit down to play unless you were at least somewhat confident, self-aware enough to know you could hold your own and avoid being clowned.

The same logic applies far beyond the card table.

That brings us to today’s topic: your Spades partner is a reflection of you.

You choose them wisely. They choose you wisely, hopefully.
They are, in many ways, an extension of you.

That’s the reframe you need for yourself.
That’s the mindset required when you take a seat at the table to play to win.
That’s the heart-centered shift necessary to make wiser choices.

It wouldn’t be wise to pick a known loser.

So why do you keep choosing temporary satisfaction over long-term success?

You’re making the choices of a loser. Stop it!

Sitting in a drive-thru when you said you’d work on getting healthy.
Spending money carelessly when you committed to budgeting better.
Participating in work gossip with people you don’t even like.

When are you going to choose a better teammate?

Your decisions are your teammates. They’ll either take you to the next level or hold you back.

It sucks that our parents can’t save us anymore.
It sucks that we can’t just pray it away.
We have to take consistent, intentional action. We have to actually do the work, then pair it with prayer.

But what sucks more is reneging on yourself. Making unwise decisions that pull you out of alignment with your goals. Choosing to play the wrong suit when the right cards are staring back at you.

You see the hand you’ve been dealt. You know exactly what happens if you play the wrong one.

Don’t be careless.
Be wise.
Be your best Spades partner, because if you can’t rely on yourself, who can you rely on?

So let’s talk about how to make decisions that reflect the kind of partner you want to be to yourself.

Let’s dive into decision-making. Not just how to make better choices, but how to stay steady when you’re fighting the version of you that would rather hit the drive-thru for a 1,200-calorie meal than cook a well-balanced, whole-food dinner.

Because wise decisions don’t just win the game. They change your life.

This isn’t about willpower and discipline. This is about pattern-interrupting automatic habits by retraining your decision-making environment.

How to Make Better Decisions When the Easy Option Is Right There:

Let’s be real.
The easy decision will always be there. It’s convenient, it’s comfortable, and it doesn’t require any thought.

But if you want to stop reneging on yourself, you have to set up your life so that the wise decision is the one that’s easier to make.

Here’s how:

1. Pause Before You Play a Card
Every decision is like laying a card on the table. You can’t take it back once it’s played.

So before you act, pause for 30 seconds and ask yourself:

“If I do this, will it take me closer to the life I say I want?”

That question alone will interrupt 70 percent of bad decisions. It pulls you out of autopilot and into awareness.

When playing Spades, you don’t just throw a card down. You think about your next few plays. You plan, you strategize, you use deductive reasoning to consider the possibilities.

2. Change the Table You’re Playing At
You can’t make wise choices in an environment designed for foolish ones.

If your kitchen counter is full of junk food, or your phone notifications are turned on for shopping apps, or your coworkers gossip every morning, that’s the table you’re sitting at.

Move tables.

Create friction for the bad habits and ease for the good ones.

For example:
Keep fruit and prepped meals visible, not chips.
Turn off notifications during focus hours.
Replace gossip breaks with walk breaks.

Environment is silent accountability.

3. Make Decisions Ahead of Time
The worst time to make a decision is in the moment of temptation.
Decide before the moment shows up.
If you already know your “if/then” moves, you won’t hesitate.

Example:
“If I don’t feel like cooking, I’ll grab the prepped meal from the fridge.”
“If I want to scroll, I’ll open my language app first.”

This is how you beat your “lazy” self before the game even starts.

4. Track Wins Like You Track Books
When you’re playing Spades, you keep track of every book you win.

Do the same for your daily decisions.

Write down every time you chose the harder but wiser option. That’s how you rewire your identity, not just by thinking differently, but by proving to yourself that you’re a reliable partner.

And if you want an easy way to do that, use my 100 Days, One You Tracker and Guide. It helps you document your wins, measure your consistency, and make wise decisions feel rewarding instead of restrictive. Because when you can see your growth, you’re far less likely to renege on yourself.

5. Play the Long Game

In Spades, one bad hand doesn’t end the game. You learn, you adapt, and you come back smarter.

Decision-making is the same.

You won’t always choose right, but consistency wins more rounds than perfection.

At the end of the day, better decisions aren’t about perfection. They’re about partnership with yourself.

Every wise choice is a book you win. Every foolish one is a lesson you don’t forget.

So play to win the long game.

And if you’re tired of reneging on yourself, start your 100 Days, One You today. Because the life you want isn’t waiting for a perfect hand. It’s waiting for you to finally play the cards you already have, wisely.

Peace out, Peace In.

-Spivey J.